Gratitude

Today Sophie is 4 months adjusted age, meaning if she was born on her due date, she would be 4 months old today. Just over a year ago I found out I was pregnant and was calculating that due date, June 8. We were so excited, the date also is the wedding anniversary of my parents and Lynda’s grandparents, a lucky day, we thought. A baby with a warm weather birthday, we envisioned BBQs and park parties, baby bathing suits.

I remember seeing the date along with the physicians and nurses on duty on the whiteboard in the delivery room and thinking, “February 22? My baby’s birthday is going to be February 22 or 23? How is that possible? I didn’t plan for February!”

So we have this wonderful baby with dualing birthdays. There is the day she was born and the day she was supposed to be born. What is and what should have been. A Pisces instead of a Gemini. Interesting that while she is younger than she is, I feel so much older than I am. I wonder if preemie parents get a corrected age too, you age about a year for every week your baby is in that hospital. On the upside, I am sure in a few years she will be campaigning for multiple birthday parties.

What have I learned? Well, I have learned there isn’t much in life you can control. All you can control is how you respond to it. The common sense part of me always knew that was true, but the rest of me really wanted to believe I was in control most of the time. Now, I know better. I have also learned how truly amazing people can be, how they will “show up” for you in all the right ways just when you need them the most. I have learned I hate hospital imitation Jello and that I will likely never be any good at crocheting. I have learned that the Winter Olympics really shouldn’t be watched in their entirety. I have learned that there is no pain you can feel from getting an IV, a shot, a blood draw or a medical procedure that compares to the pain of watching these things done to your baby. I have learned that I need to appreciate my health, the health of my children and the health of the people I love every day. I have learned that life is really a miracle and I need to be present and grateful every moment. I need to give more hugs. I have learned how truly blessed I am.

Some numbers…

175 days my pregnancy (280 days would have been full term)

90 days time Sophie was in the ICN

37 weeks, 5 days Sophie’s adjusted age the day she came home

135 days Sophie has been home

7 months, 3 weeks Sophie’s actual age

52 degrees average temperature in San Mateo County for February

70 degrees average temperature in San Mateo County for June

3.2 inches average precipitation in San Mateo County for February

0.1 inches average precipitation in San Mateo County for June

10 average number of rainy days in San Mateo County in February

1 average number of rainy days in San Mateo County in June